Yama-HOW to say goodbye (title compliments of Trevor)

Well friends, tonight I sit here staring at my long-time friend that I have soon to say goodbye to.  While it may sound silly to many, tomorrow may be a hard day for me.  We sold our piano. Tomorrow, bright and early, the movers and the buyer come to pick it up.  This piano has been a constant companion to me for the last 21 years.

As we get ready to go to Brazil we have had the privilege of going through many of our earthly possessions, finding new homes for much of it.  Packing your growing family's life into 10 suitcases is both incredibly freeing and challenging all at the same time.  We've said goodbye to a lot, but I have to admit...for me, the hardest by far...the one that takes the cake, is my piano.  God has allowed me to learn and grow over this thing for far too long for me NOT to feel like an appendage is being removed.  I'm not here to complain.  God--in His goodness--Himself, has found a new home for this prized possession.  He went before us, has made this transition as easy as possible on me, and has given me the confirmation that this is the right thing to do.  I have no doubts, so this post is not one of complaint, just an honest processing and a giving over of what God has first given.  While I know this holds no weight to losing a loved one, there is a certain amount of grieving that has been and is taking place.

I want to thank my Mom and Dad who have believed in me all these years, who have provided piano lessons from here to Recife and back again, who didn't let me quit even when I was so. tired. of practicing.  When I kicked and screamed and yelled at them because I just didn't want to do it.  I know I just about drove them crazy, but today I want to say thank you.  I love you.  This skill that you have given me has gone far above a physical ability that allows my fingers to move.  It's taught me discipline, a love for the beauty of music, and a far greater appreciation for the God who created the music.

As I sit here typing, my daughter (who is supposed to be asleep) just started singing, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say Rejoice."  God is so good.  I have admittedly shed a lot of tears over this but I know in my gut that when God asks us to give something up, when you know that you know that you know that it's of Him, He has far better plans for the future than you could think up yourself.  What that will look like I can't say nor will I try.  But I can rest and be at peace in knowing that He is good and that He is sovereign.  I can trust Him.  And so, I willingly give it up.  I pray that it will bless the next family just as much as it has blessed mine.

Over the last month (since we figured out that we would sell the piano) I started working on a piece of music that I have wanted to play for years.  It is the Chopin Revolutionary Etude.  I have always thought it was beautiful, and I have always thought it was too hard for me to play because of the work it requires of the left hand.  Well, as a goodbye, I just simply wanted to learn to play it.  There are some special times in life that God allows you to feel like you're flying.  I'm sure you have "that thing".  For me, it has always been playing the piano, having that feeling that the notes are taking me far above this earth.  I wanted to feel that one last time on this piano.  Now, I am a mother of three...in the middle of an international move...in the midst of all sorts of stresses...so my chops are not quite what they used to be.  Practicing a few nights a week here and there over the course of a month is simply not enough to finish off this piece well, but perfect or not, I wanted to play it.  And so, tonight I gave it one last go, mistakes and all.  Kind of my "swan song" of sorts. :)

We did take a video of it just so we can have a piece to remember it by...below is an excerpt of it.  Before I close this off and as I say goodbye, I guess I just want to say a thank you to not only my parents (for all the reasons listed above), but also to my incredible husband (who has always appreciated and not complained when I sit down to play....even if it means he puts all the kids to bed by himself), and my college piano prof Dr. C (who taught me that it's not worth it to take myself so seriously, and also how to be genuinely giddy about the beauty that can come out of wood and hammers....thank you for giving me the joy of learning how to SING through my fingers).  Last and more than anything, I thank God, whose plans are better than mine, whose ways are higher than mine, and whose love is deeper than any I could ever comprehend.  Thank you for giving me this instrument for the last 21 years.

Goodbye, old friend.  Thank you for all that you've taught me.

Sarah